Monday, February 9, 2009

Unexpected

“The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations.” - Eli Khamarov

I'm not one for surprise...I like to know what's coming my way, but every once in awhile, I'm reminded why the unexpected is so refreshing, if not a little unsettling.

My expectations are most assuredly the thing that ruin most events. It is when I have none, that I am rarely disappointed. And, because I'm not looking out for what I assume I will see, I am freed to observe what otherwise would have gone unnoticed.

I'm home sick today. Unexpected, yes. I don't often stay home, even if I am sick, because it's actually more work for me to stay home and rest than it is to just go and suffer through the day. But, I gave in, and I'm glad I did.

Besides, things seem weird in the world today.

For example, it's snowing. What the hell is that about? Big, wet, fluffy flakes that have actually taken claim of the damp swamp of brown leaves in my front yard. They are swirling and mesmerizing my young son.

And it's a full moon. Not necessarily weird...it happens with quiet regularity. But we are all aware that things somehow move in different circles and land in different positions when the moon bares all to our revolving planet.

And my son has been in a good mood all day, despite the green snot that keeps draining from him angry little nose. Strange. Creepily out of the ordinary.

The house is clean (gasp). The chores are, for the most part done (unheard of). How did I find this unexpected day? And why does it make me suspicious?

Well, I won't question it too hard. Wouldn't want to scare it away. For the time being, it is welcome here.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Slacker's Reprise #1 (because I'm sure this won't be the last time)

You know...I have a tendency to begin things with great gusto. And then...my commitment fades, the guilt rises because I'm not "living up to the promise", and eventually I either throw in the towel and wait for a new surge of momentum, or I plug on through and hope that the cyclical nature of all things will apply, as always, and boost me back into the swing of productivity.

Feh.

The only thing I really do with great regularity is slack-off. I'm always behind, always stressing about getting ahead.

So here's what I've been up to...grading papers, two district-mandated tests, and making intimate connections with exhaustion. I even tried to read a book...Confessions of a Slacker Wife...but I never finished. How's that for irony?

But, tonight, I updated one of my blogs and am now working on my second, checked-in on Facebook, danced in my living room with my son and played Simon Says (and for the first time, he actually mimicked my every move), took a nice hot bath and read another chapter in the appalling sequel to Twilight (I have to, my students are in love with Edward, and if I can't relate, I can't relate...so I'm doing what I have to do, begrudgingly.)

And here I am to simply say, I'm trying. And I haven't given up. And to make it up to myself, not only am I checking in, but I'm offering a word, a writer, some music, and some bizarre food for thought, since I've missed two weeks of them...and I'm not going to hold myself to deadlines I can't keep...even if I'm the only one reading my blog...it's silly to make it so routine when this is simply supposed to be an outlet for my stifled creativity. Go me for making fun into work...and see where it got me?

So there.

And here...to begin...a song that always makes me feel better. There simply isn't a way I can be mad when I hear it...plus, it just gives me the warm fuzzies...pair this up with a fast drive or a stiff drink and it's better than therapy (and a helluvalot cheaper and easier to replicate).



Writer of the Week: a whole group, actually. I just got done showing "Freedom Writers" to my class, and we are in the midst of an intense unit on social injustice and intolerance in the U.S. that will lead us into a research project on our roots (an ancestry study). My students are 12-13, and were quite affected by the film. The actual story on which it is based was born into word through The Freedom Writers Diary. It's pretty inspiring to think that writing can be so cathartic. It's also a beautiful thing to see my students discussing the importance of reading and writing in understanding yourself, your history, and the world around you. There is also an excellent teaching guide you can purchase separately...and a 3rd book called "Teach with Your Heart". A nice threesome to add to any teacher's professional library. Visit the official website: http://www.freedomwritersfoundation.org

Word for the Weekend:
per·spi·ca·cious (adj.)
Having or showing penetrating mental discernment; clear-sighted.
[From Latin, to look through; see perspective.]
perspi·cacious·ly adv.
perspi·cacious·ness n.

A trait which I do not often possess.

Sweetest dreams.

P.S. Do you ever feel like this? And why is it that I can't get over the misspelling of "beginning"?